As COVID quarantine nears 4 months, we are all a little cooped up and trying new hobbies like baking sourdough and gardening… and strangulation.
But did you know there are less deadly things than murder you can do with your knee?
Here’s a list of 25 non-lethal ways you can put your knee on stuff for nearly 9 minutes to get you through this challenging summer without killing anyone.
1) A Slip and Slide
2) Bean bag chairs
3) Your Microsoft Zune
4) Grapes (winemaking)
5) A vat of hydrochloric acid
6) Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues from the 90s
7) Lime Jello
8) The US Constitution
9) Tiny Ballpit like at McDonald’s but for quarantine
10) Jar of toenail clippings
11) That other DIY project you’ve been putting off
13) Knee Pads
15) Some murdering asshole’s nutsack
16) Alphalpha Sprouts
17) No longer relevant college acceptance letters
18) A telephone pole (Ouch, I can’t believe I actually walked into it, e.g.)
19) Tiger Balm
20) A handwritten 10-minute free write
21) All your pathetic attempts at making kombucha
23) Letters from your bank telling you they care and asking you to perform “self-care”
25) Just about any other part of the human body