Many of my American friends will tell you that the repercussions of drinking moonshine greatly outweigh the benefits. This goes against everything I believe about alcohol.

 

Confederate side of America seems to agree and if you live in the south of the good ol’ US of A, you can now pop down your local convenience store and buy a jar of this extra strength spirit. Unfortunately, you can not here in the UK. So, I guess you will have to take it old school and get brewing. (Just don’t tell anyone).

I would like to point out it is illegal to manufacture spirits in the UK without a distiller’s licence which is required under the provisions of section 12 of the Alcoholic Liquor Duties Act 1979 and this includes manufacture for “own/domestic use”.

Moonshine is nothing more than unaged whisky but can be sweet and very much drinkable. Plus it is very easy to brew, like piss easy, like no wonder it is illegal easy, (cause every fucker would be out of their nuts on this at the loss of millions of tax duty), being the only reason it is illegal, the cunts. The distilling process is simple and contains just four ingredients, corn, sugar, wheat and water.

This is a genuine moonshine recipe, and if I was to make it (wink-wink), this is what I would use:

Firstly get a large bucket, around 22 litres. I have chosen a sweet grain, add this to the bucket until you can no longer see the bottom. I use a normal size tea mug to scoop in ten cups of sugar. Fill half the bucket with warm water.

This needs to mix until there are no more lumps of sugar. It smells quite rotten at the moment and the mix looks like a morning after the night before shit. It doesn’t get any better when the packet of yeast goes in. Top up with more warm water and leave. It must be able to breathe but not fully open.

5 Days later you are ready to get fucked up. This brew should be absinthe strength, 70-80% easy.

Because of the Government’s greedy laws, I could not make any of my own moonshine. This does not mean I cannot do a review. Funnily enough, I woke up this morning to find that there was a bucket of fresh moonshine in the garage.

Before anyone arrives to enjoy a beverage with me, I have a couple of cheeky sniffles – it’s much nicer than I expected – once the initial burn subsides a nice warm aftertaste lingers. It’s very moreish.

22 hours later…

Fuck! What happened?

All I can recall is a Bipolar buzz, one minute you’re euphoric and love everyone next, the slightest annoyance becomes a reason to fight. And that’s all I recall.

An urge to ring everyone I know, to see if they hate me, rushes over me. I feel like a little kid on the naughty step. What have I done now?

Duke Cassady

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