If I had a dog my basil plant would still be alive

Dog Breeders Are Quite Smart Actually, I wish I Was One Pieces Of Shit.

I would like to raise my empty beer can middle finger to all of these cunt dog breeders who have raised the prices of dogs and puppies across the world. Taking advantage of our boredom eager to welcome a puppy into our lives.


I’m standing here staring at the garden, looking at my neighbour’s cat roaming around so happily outside, it’s so fucking annoying if I had a dog he would not allow that little shit to step anywhere close to my basil plant which is now ruined.  If I had I puppy I’m sure they would be best friends, play and grow older together. I know what you are thinking, why don’t I just adopt one? Well, I’ve found that dog rescues are quite paranoid and overprotective slightly difficult to approach. It’s easier to adopt a bloody child than it is to adopt a dog. There seems to be quite a bit of paperwork involved in the process, plus they are condescending as fuck, I know I have to take him out for a walk I’m not stupid! but I understand as they need to make sure the dog goes to a happy home. I fucking hate them.


Dog breeders are taking advantage of coronavirus and this situation that needs to be fixed. It won’t be long before the lockdown ends and we find out that hundreds of dogs have been kicked out to the streets. Let’s all stand against there cunty dog breeders by reporting them to the police. Stay safe all. When this is all over I’m going to take advantage of all the orphan dogs, move to Essex and be a breeder. It’s the best job anyway, playing around with dogs all-day, drinking beer and feeding them chips, SIGN ME UP!



Illustration by Luciana Pungitore

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