Ronkonkoma Heating Solutions Ltd.
Meeting to discuss moving from instant coffee to real coffee
5.4.18

Present:

Sal Thompson, President (ST)
Peter Narcowicz, VP Finance/Meeting Secretary (PN)
Connie Starpler (VP HR)
Terrance Quiver (Assistant Underfloor Heating Manager)

Absent:

Murray Monkman (AC Installation Manager)
Petra Harvey (Head of Widgets)

 

  • Apologies

 

MM has forwarded his apologies, he has had to attend a troublesome AC installation in Riverhead. He has forwarded a short statement (NOTE: To be discussed during agenda item 3)

 

  • Minutes of last meeting

 

Minutes have been approved. With amendment that at time of last meeting TQ was no longer Head of Underfloor Heating.

 

  • Business

 

ST explained that reason for a second meeting to discuss the switch from instant coffee to real coffee is due to the continued discord amongst the staff of Ronkonkoma Heating Solutions Ltd.

PN restated the fact the switch to real coffee from instant coffee is costing the organisation $90 a week or $4,680 a year. A significant amount of the current economic climate.

CS argued that the benefit of real coffee in terms of workplace morale is unquantifiable. CS also stated that it tasted a lot better and she’d had a great “Soy Milk Flat White” recently and would recommend it. This was seconded by TQ.

PN has claimed that CS and TQ are both dicks with no understanding of economics. TQ challenged this view, having recently taken an introductory finance course at the local community college and the committee moved to a vote.

The committee voted 3 to 1 that CS and TQ are both dicks. This will be noted in the annual report.

MM’s statement was read to the committee. He noted that his team prefer instant coffee and having grown up in the 70’s and can’t stand this pretentious, hipster positioning about what is nothing more than a bean. He just needs a “pick me up” to ensure there are no more tragic AC installation accidents such as those that occurred in Peconic in 2015.

ST suggested the committee to hold a minutes silence to remember all those who lost their lives that day. Motion passed 4 to 0.

MM’s statement also stated that if a vote was proposed on whether CS and TQ were dicks he would vote in favour. The minutes will be updated to reflect this.

ST stated his anger at once again having to leave his holiday cottage Upstate to discuss this “bullshit”. A motion was called to decide whether the meeting was bullshit. Motion passed unanimously.

TQ stated that given the company’s current precarious financial position whether it was wise for ST to continue to take funds from the company to refurbish his holiday cottage Upstate. ST informed TQ to watch his mouth and pointed out he was paying the firm to refurb the heating system in the cottage.

TQ questioned the legality of this transaction. ST called for a new vote on whether TQ was a dick. Motion passed 2 to 1 with an abstention from CS due to her hatred of confrontation.

PN stated he was fed up of this bullshit. This was seconded by ST. It was agreed to continue this discussion during the week commencing May 15.

 

  • Any Other Business

 

ST informed the group that ST was being demoted to Underfloor Heating Operative.

Dan Hooper

@danhoopercomedy