It was like a cloud, dark and thick, and it came for us.
It changed us.
The guilt and shame a child can feel is paralyzing,
they begin to watch their every move, they begin their secret world.
And it must be kept secret or else,
else you’ll be found out and doomed to the worst fate of self-destruction,
to haunt you to the end of your days,
It could have been so different,
a world without the warden watching you, ready to call you out,
We were so young, we knew not what we’d done,
the older ones knew, but we did not.
How horrible to be covered in that cloud, to never see clearly again.
To carry it with you for the rest of your life.
Until night, when you shut the door, and lock the lock,
and draw the blinds, and listen for any approaching footsteps,
you are alone, can you have your private moment now?
Will someone condemn you for it?
Will you let yourself or will the dark cloud come again and ruin it?
It is your secret, your very private secret.
And it must stay that way.