This year 2017, I’ll be will be attending Glasgow finest establishment; The Glasgow Sheriff Court.
Reputedly the busiest and least forgiving court in Europe. Why? I can’t actually tell you because it is still an open case, sorry.
What I can tell you is it’s been a long hard fight. After getting arrested in July last year, I was released on bail to serve my own mental punishment of solitary confinement, by putting myself under house arrest. I kept my head low not telling anyone. No family or friends know. I distanced myself, only attending the usual drinks and dinners if I really couldn’t make an excuse.
Of course, I am not looking for sympathy, I did the crime and I will do the time. They say those who stand by you in the bad times, deserve to be with you in the good times. But in my case, I haven’t told them, I haven’t told anyone. If I get a sentence and my lawyer says it is likely, no one is going to have a clue where I am. They may even report me missing to the police. Ha. But that has been my choice, it’s a little secret I’m keeping to myself and one I quite like.
Of course, no time has been wasted and I’ve made the best of my self-served house arrest. I have established myself as an artist, or two artists in fact. I have created two alter egos. Two artists in one. Buy one get one free! I am a colourful fluid painter who paints massive oil paintings of voluptuous nude women. I am also an “urban” artist, creating modern mixed media from everyday commercial images that we see every day. Images that impound us with political views, what we should think, eat, do, work, play, who we should and should not sleep with.
Both guys have worked out alright, I am not rich but I’ve made a few bob. This will keep my bills paid whilst I am banged up. I don’t know who will water my plants though.
Overall I’m content with my relatively short “the new me” plan up till this point. However, this point is quickly about to change. On Friday I am going to stand up and face a judge. I will say aloud my full name and date of birth. I will need to take the punishment as the person I am. The real person. The person who decided seven months ago that our government is pish and someone should make a show of it. The person who was so pissed off that our government’s corruption had become so endemic in our society when most people have just kind of accepted it as “normal”. (Nothing to do with the case… promise)
The person who is sorry for what they did and will state their full name and date of birth when asked.
What will happen to “the artists” when I go inside? I am not sure. Maybe they will make elaborate and creative plans for when I get out. Maybe they will join forces and become a super artist or maybe they will become dormant as there is no longer a secret. Or a fight will break out. Only time will tell.
Anyways, I checked out my potential new home. It seems like a nice place, it offers outstanding recreational facilities including an outdoor walking track and exercise space, let’s call it a space. I will have access to limited email, mail and the ability to speak to the outside world… Which is nice.
I can’t really say much can I. Maybe after Friday I can fill you in with the gossip, we can be prison pen pals.
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