I went to Christiania not because I am the biggest fan of weed but because I was in Copenhagen and to miss the chance to see a community of squatting outlaws fighting capitalism was out of the question. This is what I learned…

1) You can’t photograph drug dealers

Lame! All sellers have their shit in a drawstring bag ready to pull and run in case of a raid – welcome to chill town.

The first guy to ask me to delete a picture, ok mate, no problem. (Recently deleted, recover.)

 

2) There’s A LOT of dogs

Is there such thing as too many dogs running around freely? No fucking way, in fact, they are the happiest residents in Cristiania because they don’t have to worry about dog police sniffing their butts.

** KEUT ALERT **


3) They have tacos

The one thing that I never expected to find was freaking awesome fucking tacos. Homemade tortillas and 2 types of salsas. This little cart has beaten a bunch of fancy Mexican restaurants I’ve tried in shitty London.

Abso-fucking-lutely delicious – if you know who owns this cart let us know! We wanna know if they will deliver to London.


4) It’s a real town.

When I was first told about Christiania I pictured a bunch of teepees and people chilling by a firepit sharing a blunt with whoever wanted one, but it is much more than that. It’s an actual town with many businesses.

Christiania Rent a Bike is a bike rental and bike shop. They are also the only place in Scandinavia where you can find the handbuilt Pedersen Bicycle and the place where the famous Original Christiania Cargo Bike was invented. christianiacykler.dk

 

The Grey Hall is the largest concert hall in Christiania. It was originally built in 1891 as a riding venue in the army barracks. When Christiania was founded in the 70’s it quickly became a focal point for everything art and music related. dengraahal.dk

 

Morgenstedet is an organic, vegetarian eatery. It has existed for more than 20 years on a concept of collectivism and voluntary workforce. This results in an intriguing mixture of cuisines; from Far Eastern to Mediterranean, depending on what chef is on shift. morgenstedet.dk

 

Spiseloppen. Here you get a creative meal at a decent price in an international environment. The chefs and waiters come from as many as 16 different countries. And the guests are just as diverse, everyone from politicians, through tourists to students come to enjoy some great food. www.spiseloppen.dk

 

Gay House, is a cultural meeting place for gay, lesbians and trans-genders in Copenhagen. boessehuset.dk

 

4) They have rules

3 simple rules

 

Simple, however, once you step in deeper you find a bunch of other ‘odd’ rules (see our translation below):

9 more rules

NO James Bond
NO reusing syringes
NO fisting
NO grownups
NO O’ clan?
NO uneven vest patterns
NO dildos
NO ISIS
NO Bizzaro Santa

5) It’s not cheap

You would think that weed-brothers-peace-and-love-reggae-Bob-Saget-sunsets-and-bongos-freetown would sell a beer for a fair price, after all, they don’t pay rent or taxes. Well, you are wrong. Not only is it not cheap, but the bar staff was also angrier than an English dude behind an English pub.

Six quid a pint but it comes with this awkward stackable plastic cup.


6) It’s kinda scary.

I don’t want to sound like a pussy but the vibe there can get a tad confrontational. No photos, no running, no electronic music, a funeral in progress, two guys playing checkers like they are betting their wives. I wouldn’t go there at night, that’s for sure.

I don’t know what that means but RUN!

 

8) Kids shouldn’t be allowed there.

‘Come and play with us, Danny …for ever, and ever, and ever.’


9 Brownies are strong.

Unless your plan for the day is listening to your thoughts with a 5-second delay and be afraid of bridges don’t do a whole brownie.

A brownie is only about a fiver, not bad, but be careful, they will fuck you up.


10) Residents hate the drug stands.

Last year a shooting happened in the centre of Christiania where 3 people were injured including 2 police officers. The residents were not amused by this, they forcibly removed the drug stands to make a very clear point to the drug gangs running them. Since then, residents even agreed to have CCTV in the main dealing areas.

A local removing a hash stand with a drawing of Bob Saget Photograph: Thomas Borberg/AP

 

Conclusion:

Christiania is a great day date. Bring your own beer, have a spliff, bike around and take loads of photos. Get the munchies, eat a butt-load of tacos, or if you’re visiting before December ’17 walk 10 minutes to Copenhagen’s food market and stuff your face.

Daniel Corrochio

@nvvmxac