I was shocked the other day
When I heard a Frenchman say
“Have you tasted your own cum?”
“I am asking you,” he said

Chum to chum
“Be honest, it could be fun,
I will not tell anyone
If you have (maybe) tried some.”

“Hell no,” I said, “are you mad?
It smells like fish that’s gone bad.”
(But I have thought about it
Once or twice, truthfully, thrice
Whether or not it would taste nice!)

“But girls do it all the time!”
My friend hastily replied,
“It goes well with ice and lime
Baked or boiled or grilled or fried!
Don’t knock what you have not tried.”

I stepped back and hissed:
“If you keep going like this
Our friendship will be done.
I can not believe I have to tell you
I don’t want to eat my own cum!”

After going home that night
I fell asleep in a fright
And had nightmares about cum.
It came out of all places
All over people’s faces
From my mouth, my nose and my bum.

But the very next morning
At the first crack of dawn, in
My kitchen I had a thought.

What could I eat, to make it taste sweet?
A pineapple or a plum.
It could be a treat, a replacement for meat,

A mixer to drink with rum.
Oh, to hell with it, I said
And went straight up to my bed.

Let’s get with this:
Over and done!

I will spare you the details
But what you must know
Is that with much force,
Rhythm and flow
Nature took its merry course

In exciting my boy down south.
Without the need for intercourse
Shot a load straight in my mouth.
Tasting it, I must admit
That it really was not bad.

The only flaw I can submit:
Is that some stained my mattress pad.

Upon this revelation
on the taste of my own cum,
I was filled with a sensation
that put a tingle in my bum!

So up I got
And off I went
To see my dear old chum,

The Frenchman who had first asked me
If I had tasted cum.

“Come quick,” I said
With a knock at his door.
“I’ve got news from bed.”
(And a bit from my floor.)

“What is it?
What happened?
Are you in danger?
Did you get mugged by a dirty old stranger?”
“No,” I screamed.

“The news is good!
I cummed in my mouth
and I ate it for pud!”

“Haha!” He cried.
“Did it taste immaculate?
Did you feast and dine
On your very own ejaculate?”

“Both! Did I, I must confess
And to all the world I must profess
(though it may seem rather dumb)
I love the taste of my own cum!

But my friend, please, come here
I have a question you must hear.”
“Of course, my dear!

You can trust your chum.”
“Well,” I said
“Do you have a stick of gum?”

Josh D. MH

Photo by Christo Viola | saatchiart.com/christoetviola