There’s a disturbing trend among women these days, concerning pubic hair. It seems as though many of them have been convinced that shaving their pussies is a bad idea and instead, have chosen to grow 70’s era bushes or intricate and retarded designs where the sun don’t shine. The rise of radical feminism is partially to blame for this unfortunate circumstance but it is also due in part to the acceptance of the ridiculous notion that a cleanly shaven trap looks like a baby’s cunt.

Now I’m not a parent or a paedophile so I’ve never seen a child’s pussy in person or photos, but I do know they don’t have hair. This simple fact should not, however, make a young man think of a child’s vagina when a beautiful woman is presenting her cleanly shaven pussy to him. I, more than anyone, know what it’s like to cum too quick and sometimes thinking of some disgusting or horrifying shit can help delay the jizz from barreling out of your dick. Using the thought of a child to stave off an orgasm is taking it too far, though. A guy is better off thinking of his mother’s head being flattened like a pancake or his family’s home going up in flames in order to keep from prematurely ejaculating. When a naked woman is present, a child’s nether regions and anything kid related, for that matter, should be the furthest thing from an adult male’s mind. This includes infantilism and little schoolgirl outfits.

Photo by Oliver Villegas

Photo by Oliver Villegas

While pubic hair is an indicator of post-pubescence it shouldn’t be needed in order for a guy to tell whether he’s fucking a child or not. By the time a woman has exposed herself to a dude, he should be more than certain that she is of the age for a fucking. Seeing there isn’t any “grass on the field” shouldn’t make him pause and recoil in horror, it should be a welcomed sight. I hate to sound like a yoga instructor but a woman’s private parts are a thing of beauty. Letting them be obstructed is a crying shame. The Sistine Chapel shouldn’t be neglected, covered in vines, and inhabited by monkeys; like some shitty Mayan temple. Same goes for a woman’s snatch. It should be completely exposed in order to be fully appreciated, devoured, and pounded. Slapping some stupid ass hairdo above it makes about as much sense as bedazzling a foreskin, too.

There’s a lot of upkeep to a woman’s body and all the work they go through is appreciated to one degree or the other. Taking the time to trim and sculpt a pube masterpiece, on the other hand, is a bit much. It’s nice when a gal does her hair up right, I guess, but it’s not really something us dudes ooh and aah over. Only chicks and fags care about that shit and as much as we’d like to think babes play with each other’s pussies and show them off to one another, they really don’t. That perfectly styled patch of hair is for us and it’s a complete waste of fucking time. One hairstyle should be enough for a dude. Needing a woman to go through the trouble of doing two, in order for him to enjoy his sexual experience, takes it from “knowing what he likes” to being a demanding psychopath.

As men, we have a perfectly reasonable explanation for not shaving our junk clean and instead, taking the time to trim our pubic hair. It’s because we have balls. The nutsack is a necessary yet horrifying aspect of the male anatomy. It carries the seeds of life but is also difficult as shit to look at. That’s why it needs to remain shielded by a wall of hair. By trimming, and not shaving, a man is able to make his schlong appear longer, more appetising, and ensure that the cutie who’s slurping it down doesn’t end up flossing with one of his short and curlies.

There’s obviously nothing wrong with a woman taking the time to style her pubes. It just doesn’t make any fucking sense and caters to retards. A woman is better off shaving her cunt clean, while doing her legs in the shower. We can handle some stubble and for those who can’t, a chick is better off without ’em. Those dudes think about kids when they have boners.

John Pittsley


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